The Call

It came today.  The phone call I have been dreading; the one that I knew would eventually come.  It took 11 months to arrive, but arrive it did; and I'll be honest, I cried after I hung up.

As you probably know, I witnessed a violent crime last year; a murder.  As horrific as it was, and as challenging as dealing with PTSD is and continues to be, the thing that loomed like a dark presence in my life was "the call".  I knew it would come, I didn't know when, but I knew at some point, the police would contact me to say I was going to have to testify in court.

Today was that day.  The detective was polite and professional.  Simply stating this was a courtesy call to let me know I will be receiving a subpoena to witness in the next few weeks and a meeting will be set for me to meet with the Crown Attorney to discuss the incident.   Since it happened, I have always referred to it as "the incident" and to hear the detective refer to it the same way was a little surprising; then again, I suppose it is less likely to trigger an emotional response, and since I was already near tears, I appreciated the small gesture.

He could not give me an exact date as to when I would be expected in court, but did say the trial will likely take 3 months; from September through November.  So my dark presence is looming closer; hovering there as a constant reminder.  

My hope is once I am through this ordeal I will be able to move forward with my life.  Time will tell.  For now, I simply have to get through each day as they come and do my best to stay in the present moment; for, if nothing else, this experience has taught me we only have the present, the future is not guaranteed by any stretch of the imagination.  So the best I can do is to do my best each day, knowing that some days will be better than others....and that "this too shall pass."  I just have to have faith things will get better.