Monday, July 28, 2008

Ever Wonder Why....

Have you ever wondered why we can see the potential and greatness in others but we rarely see it in ourselves? or why people say great things about us to others, but never say them directly to us?

Both these thoughts came to mind for me because of something someone said. Ironically, they were repeating something someone had said to them about me. It was all very positive and supportive, but it made me wonder why the person who had actually spoken the words originally never ever said them to me. After all, this is someone who is very close to me, so why did they find it easier to say it about me to someone else rather than say it to me directly?

I decided to try something. I was going to say positive, supportive things directly to people and see what happens. It surprised me when most people's first reaction was one of denial or dismissal. They often said "I didn't do anything really" or "It was nothing, forget about it". Think about it, when was the last time you just said "Thanks!" when someone said something nice about you to you?

Why is it so difficult for us to accept compliments, praise, and thanks? Is it because we truly don't see our own goodness or is it because we judge our efforts as unworthy of notice, or is it something deeper? Do we fear that by acknowledging ourselves we are creating a level of expectation? Do we really just fear our own success? our own power? our own ability?

Have we become so driven that we cannot appreciate the things we do for others or our personal accomplishments? Are we so goal driven that achieving the goal is no longer something to acknowledge and celebrate but is merely a step towards yet another goal?

Having goals and striving to achieve them is great as it gives you direction and focus, something to work towards and achieve. Yet, if this goal was important enough for you to create, commit to and work to achieve, then should it not also be something to acknowledge and perhaps even celebrate? Regardless of what it is, it has been a part of your life, something you have put time, energy and money into, so when someone acknowledges your success, instead of dismissing it as 'nothing' or qualifying it by saying "Yes, but I still have to....." feel a bubble of happiness within you, smile your brightest smile, and simply say THANKS!

Show gratitude and appreciation for your own hard work. You've achieved your goal ~ you should be proud of yourself , as others are of you.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Hurry Up and Wait

It always intrigues me when people tell me they want to achieve 'this or that' and they hope they will do so quickly; then they create all kinds of blocks to slow themselves down.

Setting goals is fabulous, they give you a sense of purpose, a direction to move in, and something to strive for. Yet the reality of any goal is "change". To most people, change, even good change, is scary because there are a lot of unknowns connected to change and what we don't know, we tend to fear. It's often this unconscious fear that keeps us from doing the things we say we want to do and instead, allows us to continue to do what we have always done even if it makes us unhappy.

So, while we consciously want to reach our goals and create changes in our lives, we are not so sure what other effects these changes will have on our lives. We try to maintain control by slowing down our progress and then bemoan the fact things are not happening fast enough and we are frustrated by it! Our need to know how it will all turn out, what it will look like, how it will feel is the biggest road block we create. No matter what you are striving for it will never turn out exactly as you envision simply because you're probably thinking 'small' rather than daring to dream 'big'.

Logically, if you are striving towards a positive goal and succeed, then it can only impact your life in positive ways. With that in mind, would it not make sense that any 'ripple' effects this change creates would also be positive?

We need to have more faith in ourselves, in our ability to create and reach the goals we set and to believe that all will be as it is meant to be. To trust that when we succeed it will be even more wonderful than we envisioned. When we are able to do this, it's likely things will start happening at quantum speed ~ for it's at this point that we have removed the biggest block from our success path ~ we have finally gotten out of our own way.