Friday, August 19, 2011


It's hard to imagine that people deliberately sabotage themselves, yet most people will admit they do sabotage themselves from time to time.   It seems odd though, when you hear someone say they want "X" and yet they unconsciously (or sometimes even consciously) then do all kinds of things to sabotage and prevent themselves from achieving "X".


If we were to look at this through the perspective of archetypal patterning, we would first have to acknowledge the Saboteur archetype is one of the four archetypes which is common to all humanity; the other three being "Victim", "Prostitute", and "Child".  Everyone on the planet has all four, so everyone has a Saboteur archetype which means we are all capable of sabotaging ourselves and others.   All archetypes are neutral energies until we engage their patterning, then we have the choice of whether we choose to engage their "Shadow" (negative) or their"Light" (positive) aspect.

One could easily imagine the Saboteur would only have a Shadow aspect.  After all, what Light aspect could possibly come from a Saboteur?  The answer may surprise you.  Your Saboteur archetype is actually your Guardian of Choice.  It is through our Saboteur that we choose to make changes in our lives and choose to empower ourselves and others.....or sabotage ourselves and others.

You see, everything we do we choose to do.  Now, some will say "I have no choice, I have to do..." yet the truth is, they could choose something different.  They rather choose to be dis-empowered and without choice, than to choose to change and become empowered.  Which leads us into the reason we often sabotage ourselves and others:  "We fear empowerment and the change it would bring into our lives".  

For some reason, a lot people naturally assume that by becoming empowered and choosing change in one (or many) areas of their lives means the other areas of their lives will crumble.  It's a little hard to wrap your mind around the connection between how improving one aspect of your life will automatically destroy another aspect.  Why would it?  If you are improving something, the ripple effect through your life would be positive, so rather than destroying what is already good in your life, it would in fact, enhance it.

So how and why do we sabotage those we love?  It's also out of fear - usually the fear of being abandoned.  So while on one hand we want our loved one to succeed, on the other we fear that if they do, they will leave us and we will be left alone.  It's this fear that makes us unconsciously (and sometimes consciously) undermine them; usually in what we perceive as small inconsequential ways.

Comments like:
  •  "you can break your diet for one day and have dessert with me."
  •  "I know you're trying to quit smoking, but just come outside with me and keep me company" 
  •  "take a break from studying and watch this movie with me"
  • "skip the gym today, you can go tomorrow and stay longer to make up for it"
  • "one drink won't hurt you"

While the above are seemingly harmless, the truth is, they are all ways in which we sabotage others.  There are hundreds of other ways we sabotage those we love, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually in order to maintain the status quo and ensure they stay with us.  What we need to do is recognize what triggers us into doing this and instead of acting on the trigger, choose to be supportive instead. 

In essence, it's about empowering ourselves and being secure enough in who we are to allow others to be who they are, without the fear of being abandoned.  Some days we will succeed brilliantly at this, other days may prove to be more challenging; yet the opportunity is always there to choose the Light aspect of your Saboteur and empower yourself and others along the way.

 Interested in learning about your Archetypes?  Check out:  The Soul's Alchemy

Monday, August 1, 2011

What Memories Are You Creating?

It always amazes me the stories and memories that get shared when someone passes away.  How everyone remembers the person differently and all the stories add different dimensions and depth to the person, often giving us new insight and perspective on someone we thought we knew well, yet didn't know as well as we thought.

 The death of a loved one reminds us how many lives we touch, how others see us, and more importantly, what memories we give others by being part of their lives.  As much as it is a time of mourning the loss of someone we love, it is also a time to share in the joy they had brought to our life though sharing our favorite and usually funniest memories of them.

When you think about your life thus far, what do you want your loved ones to remember about you?  Are you merely passing time or creating memories?  People have a tendency to get so caught up in rushing through life that they seem to forget to live life.  To savour and truly experience the moments they share with others; to create lasting memories.  To appreciate those times where the laughter literally brings tears to the eyes; the joys that mark the happiest of occasions, and even through the tears of sadness the ability to remember and share the moments that have touched them.

It seems a little sad the best stories are shared only after a person has passed.  It makes me wonder if people really know how much they impact the lives of those around them; how much they are loved, appreciated, looked up to and admired. We like to believe those we care about  know how we feel, but really, wouldn't it be so much better for them and for us, to actually tell them, now, while they are still with us rather than waiting until they have left this world?

So, to the women in my life let me say this "you inspire me with your knowledge, courage, caring, compassion and I am blessed by knowing you and sharing so many memories with you".   To the men in my life who tend to be men of few words and big hearts I say "thank you for your strength, wisdom, patience, goodness and for showing me by example what it means to be a 'good man'; all of you are a blessing in my life. "

My life is filled with wonderful people - family, friends who are like family, so many great memories and so much laughter that I can only say I love you all and look forward to many many more years of creating lasting memories.

Create memories ~ they are the gift that keeps on giving.