Thursday, May 31, 2012

Can I Share Something...

People tell me things.  Lots of things.  Amazing things.  Highly personal things and while this is not unusual within the framework of my work, in fact its necessary for my work, I'm not talking about my clients here; I'm talking about strangers; people I've never met before and will likely never meet again.

It happens quite often and it doesn't matter where I am, people seem to be drawn to me and talk to me, not the polite impersonal type of conversations, but personal, often deeply personal conversations.  It happens everywhere, standing in  line in a store, in restaurants, even waiting in an airport departure lounge...and I've been in a lot of airport departure lounges.

I've heard about people's divorces, their guilt about a wide range of things from the fight they had with their parents, to not being there when a loved one died, to everything in between.  They've told me about illnesses, operations, sexual dysfunctions (I once had a man tell me within the first 5 minutes of our conversation that he had ED), loneliness, bitterness, anger, resentment, betrayal, you name it and someone has told me about it.

I often wonder why me.  Not in the sense of being a 'victim' but in the sense of 'what is it about me that makes others feel comfortable enough to share these deeply personal aspects of their lives with me'.  While I certainly don't mind being there for them, giving them the opportunity to vent and express their fears and emotions; there is part of me that wonders why they find it easier to tell me than to tell those who they love and who supposedly love them.  After all, telling me doesn't change the situation; telling those involved is the only way to find resolution.

Perhaps in telling me they are seeking validation for how they feel.  Perhaps they just need to say these things out loud in order to determine whether or not what they are saying is really 'true for them'.  Perhaps they just need to be able to think aloud, without fear of judgment, to sort through whatever challenge they are facing.  Whatever the reason, whatever purpose I serve, I am there for them in that moment and am happy that I can assist them even if all I do is listen; which is often the case.  Everyone needs to feel they are being heard and understood; and perhaps that is my gift to them.

Monday, May 28, 2012

When Is A Sign...A Sign?

I tend to see 'signs' everywhere and in every thing.  To me, everything in life is connected to everything else making life a multi-dimensional experience.  The advantage to living like this is the ability to see how your life weaves together, how what you are thinking about doing or in the process of doing, ripples out and influences other areas of your life.

For example, over the past few months I started to change my focus around my work, including how and where I was going to work.  This lead to the decision to streamline my writing, focusing more on writing a blog and no longer writing a monthly newsletter.  Ideally this would mean I would have all my writing in one place rather than some of it here and some in a newsletter.  Convenient for me and convenient for my readers as the posts here would always be here, available whenever they wanted to read them or re-read them.  I looked at this as an ending and a new beginning; closing the door on the old way of doing something and opening the door to a fresh start that would be crisp and clean.  A new look and feel and at the same time, meaningful and personal.

Once the decision was made, it rippled out into other aspects of my life with the same theme of endings and new beginnings; a new look yet still personal.  I have been working towards being physically healthier, changing how I look externally by changing what I am putting into my body and by creating healthy routines which support my overall well being - body, mind and spirit.  Ending old habits and patterns, creating new habits and patterns; the result is a happier, healthier me that has given me a new external look, while the internal work was both meaningful and personal.

The next change was the decision to redecorate my bedroom especially since some needed renovations had taken place earlier this year which left two of my bedroom walls looking like a mob hit had happened.

All the patches needed to be sanded, rough edges smoothed out and in the process of this work I found the paint in some spots had actually lifted from the wall and I had to peel away this layer of paint to uncover the blank white wall beneath.

As I looked at the wall I thought its a perfect metaphor for what had been going on in my life.  The renovation which caused the holes was actually to insert new insulation into the walls; so "internal" work.  I had been doing my own internal work as well, setting goals, clearing out old emotional baggage, releasing old habits, creating healthy habits, deciding what I wanted in my life - life's little fixes and patches which would eventually need to be smoothed out and refined before they became a natural part of the bigger picture of life.

The peeling paint was also very metaphoric.  Peeling away the paint to uncover the white wall beneath to me represented looking at myself at a deeper level, beyond the surface 'everyday' me; seeing the white wall as the potential within me, waiting for me to decide how and what my life will look like going forward.   Within each of us is this blank wall awaiting our choices and decisions, and like paint can be altered and changed whenever we choose.  I smiled, seeing before my eyes, how my inner world and outer world merge and are mirrored back to me, giving me insight, confirmation that I am aligning myself in several areas in my life at the same time.

If that wasn't a clear enough sign, I got another one as I chipped away some of that old paint, as an area of paint fell away, it left me with this:

To me, it's the number one.  One is the beginning, representing a new start, what more could I ask for than this as a sign from the Universe that I am indeed in alignment with the energies associated with new beginnings?

The old saying "when one door closes, another opens" is true.  It's important for people to recognize when it's time to let go of the old and to close the door in order to move in a new direction.  However, closing doors without a strategy or idea or desire to open a new one will cause a vacuum to be created in your life.  The Universe abhors a  vacuum and will create chaos to fill it, so always close one door when you are ready to open another.

As for signs, they are everywhere and in every thing.  The more you are in the present moment, the more aware you are of what is going on within you and around you, the more you will see the signs and the connections that weave throughout your life.  You may think/believe that you are able to compartmentalize your life, however, if you really take a good look, you will see the pattern that runs through every aspect of it.  It's there for you to discover, to work with, to explore and play with.

As for me, I'm moving in a new direction and I'll continue to look for signs along the way, knowing they are always there for me.