Saturday, October 20, 2012

Purpose & Passion

I believe there comes a time in everyone's life where they stop and ponder if "there's more to life" or if "they have a life purpose".  Personally, I believe the answer is "yes" and if you're asking the question, its time to consider what signs in your life have been pointing your Purpose out to you.

Throughout life there are signs and signals hinting and often times blatantly showing you your Purpose; the question is, are you recognizing them or are you consciously choosing to ignore the signs?  Some people know, from a very early age, what their Passion and Purpose in life truly is; while others seem to be a in a fog, grasping at vague thoughts and feelings, seeking something that will point the way and show them where they are going and where they are meant to be.  The challenge for these individuals is not that they can't find their purpose or passion, but that they are looking to the external world for clues rather than tuning out the external world and tuning into their internal world.

You see, to fully grasp your Purpose and Passion, you must first know and understand "who you are".  Not who you are in relation to others; not who you are based on your job; your family; your friends; or any other external influence.  You need to know and understand 'who you are' in relation to you.  The multidimensional person you are at a spiritual/soul/individual level.  All aspects of who you are, not just the aspects you allow others to see, including those aspects you keep hidden.

I have spoken of archetypes and archetypal patterning before, especially of the four archetypes which are common to everyone on the planet: the Saboteur, the Victim, the Prostitute, and the Child.  Besides these four we have eight others and these twelve archetypes combined give us insight into who we are at a Soul/Life Purpose/Passion level, but also insight into our challenges, lessons and patterns.  Through your archetypes you will see yourself and your life through the eyes of your soul/spirit; bringing your spiritual self, mental/emotional self, and physical self into alignment and showing you your life in a whole new dimension.

Above the temple of Delphi was the inscription: Gnothi Seauton  - "Know Thy Self".  How will you know you have found your Passion if you do not know yourself well enough to know what touches your Soul/Spirit?  How will you be able to fully engage your Soul/Spirit if you do not know what patterns you create in your life and what they mean within the framework of your Life Purpose?  Yes, there are some souls who enter this world knowing this from a very young age.  Their Purpose/Passion  is so much a part of them it literally defines them from childhood.  They are the child prodigies; the individuals who impact and shape our world in a way that changes society globally.   However, they are the exceptions, the rest of us need to look within ourselves to see who we truly are and how we are meant to impact our world.  While not everyone is meant to change the entire world, we all have our own unique Purpose/Passion and we are meant to reveal it to the world.

So often people know their Life Purpose and live it to a small degree, yet they feel its not right, there is a lack, a missing component, something not quite right.  There is a sense that if they were truly living their Purpose, they should feel happy, engaged, fulfilled; in short, they should feel passionate and excited and instead feeling let down.  They don't understand what's missing; why they feel let down instead of fulfilled; why their Purpose/Passion seems to be more of a struggle than a joy.  What they have yet to realize is that you can't live your Purpose in a little way.

Compromising your Purpose so it fits into society, into your life, or into the ideas and beliefs of others won't do, especially if your Purpose is to bring new ideas, creations, beliefs, abilities, or technology to the world.  It doesn't work that way and deep down you know it.  Compromising your Purpose by making it smaller, negotiating it down so it fits into your life leaves you feeling unfulfilled and struggling to succeed in something you are passionate about.  This constant struggle makes you doubt and question yourself, wondering "if this is truly my Purpose, then why isn't it working out for me? What am I doing wrong? Is this even my Life Purpose or am I deluding myself?"

The truth is, your Life Purpose demands your total commitment.  To take that Leap of Faith.  To dare to be different; to believe the impossible is possible; to do what has never been done.  It may ask you to push past society's beliefs to open new paths; to open new doorways and to dare to believe in yourself and your Purpose.  It asks for everything and when you give in completely to your Passion and Purpose, it gives everything in return. Half measures are not enough; it is All or Nothing.  Here is where your fear fights to keep you small and your Passion fights to set you free.

There is the challenge in living your Life Purpose.  To have the courage to live it; to believe in it; to know that whatever form your Life Purpose takes, you will step up and into it fully, knowing it is not only the right thing to do, but the necessary thing to feel fully engaged and passionate about your own life.

Your Purpose and Passion are within you; a part of you that is with you from the moment you take your first breath to the moment you take your last.   How you choose to live it and to what degree you are willing to commit to it, determines how fully you will feel that you are living with Purpose and Passion.

The choice, as always, is yours to make.

Friday, August 17, 2012

I Forgive You....

We've all been there.  That place where we have been hurt and/or betrayed, our heart, our faith, our trust shattered.  A place where someone we care about, someone we love, someone we thought we 'knew' has said or done something which cuts into us like a long sharp knife.  Once the initial shock is past, once we have time to think about what was said and done, what happens next?  Where do we go from here?

Do we forgive them?  Do we hate them? Do we relive the event over and over trying to figure out who was right, who was wrong, what really happened?  Do we let it fester and eat away at us?  Do we allow it to destroy our ability to trust, love or have faith in others?  Do we allow it to create a 'wall of protection' around  us so no one will ever get close enough to hurt us again?   Do we look for a lesson within the event?  Was there a higher purpose to it?  What do we do, what choice do we make, how do we move forward from here?

Its not easy to forgive; I mean to really forgive.  The kind of forgiveness that frees you from reliving the event through talking about it over and over again.  Forgiveness that allows you to 'let it go' completely, so you are not beating yourself up with comments like "I should have known", "I should have guessed", "How could I have been so blind/stupid/naive", "why does this keep happening to me?"  Forgiveness that forgives the other person to the point where you are OK that they are alive and well; and that you are able to forgive yourself for the part you played in the event as well.  You see, you need to forgive yourself as well as them because in order for whatever happened to happen, you had to be a part of it, you had a role in its creation.

Now before you flip out and say "It wasn't MY fault, s/he did..."  Let me give you a different perspective to toy with; something to turn over in your mind, and see how you feel about things that have happened in the past that you may still be holding onto.

Consider, just for a moment, that before you entered your current life, you were in a different dimension.  Somewhere where emotions were non-existent because there was only love.  In this place, everyone gathers with plans to experience 'life on earth'.  Discussing things they want to experience, to learn, find out about, play with, in short, they want to live the human existence.  In this place, everything sounds so exciting, fun, and those who will be part of our earth experience gather together and agree to help us as we agree to help them.  

So, let's say you want to learn about forgiveness, trust and faith while on earth.  How awesome is that going to be?  Everyone wants to help, so some agree they will meet you on earth and will help you with these lessons.  How?  Well, in order for you to learn forgiveness, they are going to hurt and betray you because how else will you learn to forgive, to trust again, to have faith in others?  Ouch, that's going to hurt! However, in the realm in which these agreements were made, there is no hurt or pain, no betrayal, there is only love; a love so encompassing that others are willing to play the part of the villain in your earth experience simply so you can learn the lessons you chose; and we are blessed and grateful that they are willing to do this for us.

Of course once we get into a physical body on earth we don't see it this way simply because we don't remember the contracts we made.  If we did, the lessons and the learning wouldn't happen.  So here we are, in a physical body, hurt and betrayed needing to think things through, understand how we feel and try to decide whether we want to hold on to our pain, release it, or transform it.

When we hold on to it, it eats away at us.  While we think we are angry at the other person, rarely does our anger affect them, usually because we want nothing to do with them and avoid them at all costs.  It does however, affect us, physically, mentally, emotionally and yes even spiritually.   We begin to see our life through the filter of anger, it touches everything we do and everyone we come in contact with.  I'm sure you've met people who are just angry all the time over everything; do you want to be one of them?

Since we don't want to be angry all the time, we need to find a way to forgive which can be easier said than done.  Perhaps if we are able to even briefly step out of our emotional pain and look at the event through the filter of  'soul contract/life lesson' we might be able to figure out the lesson.  To be able to do is, is a blessing because it makes it easier to forgive and once we recognize and learn the lesson, we no longer experience similar events.  If something keeps happening to you, its because you haven't learned the core lesson, so the lesson keeps coming through different people and events.  So, just for a moment, think about a past betrayal/hurt - see it as though you were looking at it from the outside in, what do you see?  Do you see yourself in a relationship where you were playing a role rather than being who you really are?  Do you see a point where you were 'walking on eggshells' or 'playing the peacekeeper' just to try to maintain balance in the relationship?  Perhaps you were putting everyone else's needs above your own and felt neglected, unworthy, unloved?  What lesson does the event really hold for you when you look through this new perspective, keeping in mind all lessons/learnings are positive?  

When we have that aha moment, where we come to terms with the event, figure out the lesson, forgive all involved including ourselves, we can then transform it from a point of betrayal to a point of self-awareness and enlightenment.  Once we have forgiven them, we can then decide if forgiveness includes continuing the relationship within a new framework/dynamic or blessing it for the lesson it gave us and releasing it.  If we choose to release it, we release it by wishing the other person well and knowing in our hearts we truly mean it. 

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Where We Need To Be

Life has a way of re-prioritizing itself especially when you *think* you have your priorities straight. So while writing several blog posts was on my priority list for June, it didn't happen; life did.

June 2012 was a busy month for me in an oddly indirect way.  One of my oldest and closest friends got married to her high school sweetheart.  What makes this a big deal is that happened 35 years after high school.  They had parted ways while she was still in high school, both had married someone else, had children, gotten divorced and then had found each other again.  In finding each other they finally realized they had always loved each other and that they wanted to be together, so on June 23rd, 2012, they married.

Another dear friend celebrated a milestone birthday on June 30th.  We have been friends since high school, so celebrating in a big way was in order.  A 5-day weekend birthday gathering at a home in a resort area of northern Ontario, Canada.  That's a lot of celebrating!

I was also contacted by a friend I had not seen in years; literally decades.  She had moved to Florida and while we stayed in touch via email and the occasional phone call, I honestly can't remember the last time I physically saw her.  Her email to me was to say she was going to be in town as her mother in law was terminally ill and expected to pass on in a matter of days.

What ties all these events together is the passage of time, meaningful relationships and how life weaves people in and out of our lives at various times and always brings us to where we need to be and when we need to be there.

This is all well and good when its happy events.  We readily accept that we are meant to be there, to celebrate, to be a part of this joyous occasion; but sometimes we are faced with the other side of the coin.  Sometimes, we feel we are meant to be somewhere; but for one reason or another, weren't there.  We struggle to accept things unfold the way they are meant to and that if we were truly meant to be there, we would have been.  I experienced this first hand in June as well.  At the beginning of the month I had been contacted by a colleague of my father's who had informed me there was going to be a memorial tribute to my dad at a conference.  The problem was, it was the same day as my friend's wedding. Honestly, I was devastated.  There was no way I could be in two places at once and I was torn; I wanted to be at the conference and be part of that tribute; yet how could I possibly let down a friend on her happiest day?  To say I struggled with it would be an understatement, yet in my heart I knew that if I had meant to be at that conference, it would have been on a date that I would have been able to attend. I had to accept and believe that, for whatever reason, it was more important for me to be at the wedding; so that is where I was.

So often, this sense of "I was meant to be there but wasn't" is experienced when a loved one has died. I hear the remorse, the guilt, the shame in the one phrase spoken by family and friends alike:  "I should have been there".

I've heard stories of people rushing to the bedside of a dying family member or friend, only to arrive literally moments too late and being devastated.  Stories of people who had sat by the bedside of a parent or grandparent and who just for a minute leave their side and in that moment the person dies.  How often I have heard "I should have stayed", "I should have been there", "I should have gone sooner", "I should have visited more", the list goes on.

Yet we are always where we are meant to be; so in reality, you were not meant to be there.  You were not meant to witness a loved one's passing.  What if, your loved one actually waited until you were out of the room simply because they loved you so much they didn't want your last memory of them to be of them taking their last breath?  What if all the reasons you didn't visit sooner was part of a bigger life plan to ensure your memory of the person was filled with happy memories rather than of them struggling with illness?  What if, in some way their passing brings you closer to your destiny/purpose/calling/path?  What if, their dying was to inspire you to live fully? To dare to follow a dream?  To make the most of your life?

The lives of others weave in and out of our own always at the right time and place to aid in transforming our life and furthering our life journey.  We are always where we are meant to be and when we can accept "where we are" is exactly perfect in this moment, we can then gain insight into where we are heading and appreciate those we meet along the way for they bless our lives ~ always, for they too are exactly where they need to be.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Seeing Things Differently

"When you change the way you look at things; things change"

So often people get caught up in 'how things look' that they can't see it any other way or see anything else.  Keeping in mind that "energy follows thought" and "emotion = energy in motion" people really do have choice no matter what the situation or circumstance.

For instance, let's say work is an issue.  It doesn't matter whether:

  •  I have a job and hate it, 
  • I had a job I loved and lost it, or 
  • I am looking for a job
the rule remains the same.  If you want to change the circumstances, you first have to change how you are perceiving it.  So let's take it a step at a time so you can grasp my meaning and in the process perhaps even hear some of the thoughts or words you may be consciously or unconsciously holding on to.

So let's begin with "I have a job and I hate it".  Now I know that quitting is not always an option, everyone has bills to pay and responsibilities to meet.  However, there is still choice here and it begins with changing your perspective.

The obvious first choice is start looking for a new job.  Do it with intention and focus.  It's not just a matter of "I want a new job" be clear on what exactly you want.  The type of job, the pay, the benefits/perks, the work itself.  There's no sense in changing jobs if you go into the exact same situation you hate.  You need to see the job differently; see what you love about the job, what aspects of the work you want more of; what excites you, inspires you, what resonates.

Now another way of approaching this is change the way you experience and view your current job.  Since energy follows thought, think differently about it.  When you think differently about it, you begin to feel different about it.  So what do you like/love about your current job?  What would you like to do more of?  Where can you step up, step out and offer up a new alternative?  Shift your perspective and you shift your emotion from the negative to the positive, which in turn, shifts how you experience your work and draws more of what you love/enjoy to you. Doing more of what you love/enjoy will shift the "I hate my job" to "I like my job" to "I love my job".

OK - let's step over to "I had a job I loved and lost it".  Just saying that out loud gives you a sinking feeling; it's lost and it's not coming back.  Now really, how can you even begin to find something new, something better when your words and emotions are pretty much facing the past and feeling like its the end of the world?  One cannot see or hear opportunity knocking on the future door if one is facing the opposite direction.  Time to make a 180 degree turn and become excited about the next steps towards something new.  Think about the potential of something new, something bigger and better.  It was time to move forward and since you weren't taking hold of the reins and charging forward, the Universe gave you a much needed nudge by having you downsized, laid off, fired, retired, whatever.  By having that happen its opened you to a whole new world of possibilities; be excited, look around, listen for opportunity knocking because it is and its just waiting for you to open the new door.  Seeing it through fresh eyes, from a new angle is like a breath of fresh air clearing out the cobwebs and making everything sharper, clearer and more exciting. It gives you a whole new feeling and more energy.  Good feelings and more energy makes things good things happen, and that's what you want now. Remember Emotion = Energy in Motion and Energy Follows Thought.

Finally let's consider "I am looking for a job".  How do you feel about it really?  Are you frustrated or excited?  Are you talking about it with a sense of purpose and a feeling that it's right around the corner?  Can you envision what it will feel and sound like to be working at the job you're seeking?  Whenever you think about it, does it make you smile with anticipation?  This is the emotion and energy to be plugged into.  It's this experience that makes it easier to find what you are looking for.  Energy follows thought - so have a firm grip on exactly what you are thinking and focusing on.

While I used work as the example here the same applies to every aspect of life.  You can just as easily apply this to health and/or relationships.  When you choose to see things differently, the things you see change.

As always, the choice is yours.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Can I Share Something...

People tell me things.  Lots of things.  Amazing things.  Highly personal things and while this is not unusual within the framework of my work, in fact its necessary for my work, I'm not talking about my clients here; I'm talking about strangers; people I've never met before and will likely never meet again.

It happens quite often and it doesn't matter where I am, people seem to be drawn to me and talk to me, not the polite impersonal type of conversations, but personal, often deeply personal conversations.  It happens everywhere, standing in  line in a store, in restaurants, even waiting in an airport departure lounge...and I've been in a lot of airport departure lounges.

I've heard about people's divorces, their guilt about a wide range of things from the fight they had with their parents, to not being there when a loved one died, to everything in between.  They've told me about illnesses, operations, sexual dysfunctions (I once had a man tell me within the first 5 minutes of our conversation that he had ED), loneliness, bitterness, anger, resentment, betrayal, you name it and someone has told me about it.

I often wonder why me.  Not in the sense of being a 'victim' but in the sense of 'what is it about me that makes others feel comfortable enough to share these deeply personal aspects of their lives with me'.  While I certainly don't mind being there for them, giving them the opportunity to vent and express their fears and emotions; there is part of me that wonders why they find it easier to tell me than to tell those who they love and who supposedly love them.  After all, telling me doesn't change the situation; telling those involved is the only way to find resolution.

Perhaps in telling me they are seeking validation for how they feel.  Perhaps they just need to say these things out loud in order to determine whether or not what they are saying is really 'true for them'.  Perhaps they just need to be able to think aloud, without fear of judgment, to sort through whatever challenge they are facing.  Whatever the reason, whatever purpose I serve, I am there for them in that moment and am happy that I can assist them even if all I do is listen; which is often the case.  Everyone needs to feel they are being heard and understood; and perhaps that is my gift to them.

Monday, May 28, 2012

When Is A Sign...A Sign?

I tend to see 'signs' everywhere and in every thing.  To me, everything in life is connected to everything else making life a multi-dimensional experience.  The advantage to living like this is the ability to see how your life weaves together, how what you are thinking about doing or in the process of doing, ripples out and influences other areas of your life.

For example, over the past few months I started to change my focus around my work, including how and where I was going to work.  This lead to the decision to streamline my writing, focusing more on writing a blog and no longer writing a monthly newsletter.  Ideally this would mean I would have all my writing in one place rather than some of it here and some in a newsletter.  Convenient for me and convenient for my readers as the posts here would always be here, available whenever they wanted to read them or re-read them.  I looked at this as an ending and a new beginning; closing the door on the old way of doing something and opening the door to a fresh start that would be crisp and clean.  A new look and feel and at the same time, meaningful and personal.

Once the decision was made, it rippled out into other aspects of my life with the same theme of endings and new beginnings; a new look yet still personal.  I have been working towards being physically healthier, changing how I look externally by changing what I am putting into my body and by creating healthy routines which support my overall well being - body, mind and spirit.  Ending old habits and patterns, creating new habits and patterns; the result is a happier, healthier me that has given me a new external look, while the internal work was both meaningful and personal.

The next change was the decision to redecorate my bedroom especially since some needed renovations had taken place earlier this year which left two of my bedroom walls looking like a mob hit had happened.

All the patches needed to be sanded, rough edges smoothed out and in the process of this work I found the paint in some spots had actually lifted from the wall and I had to peel away this layer of paint to uncover the blank white wall beneath.

As I looked at the wall I thought its a perfect metaphor for what had been going on in my life.  The renovation which caused the holes was actually to insert new insulation into the walls; so "internal" work.  I had been doing my own internal work as well, setting goals, clearing out old emotional baggage, releasing old habits, creating healthy habits, deciding what I wanted in my life - life's little fixes and patches which would eventually need to be smoothed out and refined before they became a natural part of the bigger picture of life.

The peeling paint was also very metaphoric.  Peeling away the paint to uncover the white wall beneath to me represented looking at myself at a deeper level, beyond the surface 'everyday' me; seeing the white wall as the potential within me, waiting for me to decide how and what my life will look like going forward.   Within each of us is this blank wall awaiting our choices and decisions, and like paint can be altered and changed whenever we choose.  I smiled, seeing before my eyes, how my inner world and outer world merge and are mirrored back to me, giving me insight, confirmation that I am aligning myself in several areas in my life at the same time.

If that wasn't a clear enough sign, I got another one as I chipped away some of that old paint, as an area of paint fell away, it left me with this:

To me, it's the number one.  One is the beginning, representing a new start, what more could I ask for than this as a sign from the Universe that I am indeed in alignment with the energies associated with new beginnings?

The old saying "when one door closes, another opens" is true.  It's important for people to recognize when it's time to let go of the old and to close the door in order to move in a new direction.  However, closing doors without a strategy or idea or desire to open a new one will cause a vacuum to be created in your life.  The Universe abhors a  vacuum and will create chaos to fill it, so always close one door when you are ready to open another.

As for signs, they are everywhere and in every thing.  The more you are in the present moment, the more aware you are of what is going on within you and around you, the more you will see the signs and the connections that weave throughout your life.  You may think/believe that you are able to compartmentalize your life, however, if you really take a good look, you will see the pattern that runs through every aspect of it.  It's there for you to discover, to work with, to explore and play with.

As for me, I'm moving in a new direction and I'll continue to look for signs along the way, knowing they are always there for me.


Monday, March 5, 2012

Inner Work, Outer Reflections

One of the misconceptions people have about me is that because of the work I do assisting others, I don't have any challenges or issues of my own.  The truth is, I do.  The difference is, I have a very different perspective on them  and see them as opportunities to learn and do things differently rather than things to struggle and battle with or against.  Life is about learning and growing through the experiences we encounter.  I know that like everyone else on the planet, I too, am a work in progress, so I too, need to take time to look within myself and do the inner work I need to do to become more congruent, happier and healthier.  In short, I practice what I preach.

What I have noticed over the past couple of months is as I have been doing my own inner work, making tweaks and changes within me, bringing me closer to my personal goals around my own well-being and happiness, my outer world was undergoing similar transformations.  Confirming for me there is a link between my inner and outer worlds.  While I was looking within myself, ironically contractors were looking within the walls of my home seeking information on what lies within them or more specifically, what was missing within.  After some self evaluation, I decided on my course of action; and after some analysis, the contractors decided on their course of action regarding my home.

As I made changes, choices, decisions and took action, I changed my health and well-being, my outlook and my direction.  Changes that could be felt as well as seen by me and by others as well.  The house too took on a different look.  At first everything was pulled out and piled into the middle of rooms as contractors worked on the walls.  Then some filling, patching and sanding to smooth out the rough edges, then painting.  Once painted, items were cleaned and either put back into place, tossed out or donated.  Internally and externally it was a time of review, evaluation and decision making.  It truly is amazing how our inner world and workings can be reflected through our outer world activities.

Since my inner world has been cleared, there is once again room to grow, learn and develop.  There is a sense of peace and beauty within me that is warm, peaceful and inviting. As I look around the house, I see the same reflected in my outer world.  The house has been cleaned, cleared and refreshed; it is warm, peaceful and inviting. How interesting that the changes inside and outside aligned and reflected each other so perfectly.

So, if you find you're dissatisfied with what is around you, perhaps its time to begin clearing, cleaning and releasing things in both your outer and inner worlds ~  it will make a world of difference in your life.

As always, it is all a matter of choice.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Just Focus

Society seems to be gearing us all to be multi-taskers and most of us have embraced multi-tasking as a way of life without giving it too much thought.  It's likely that at this very moment you are reading this blog post you are probably doing at least one other thing; more likely two or three (making dinner, helping the kids with homework, scanning email, etc).  While on the one hand it seems like being able to multi-task shows behavioral flexibility, on the other it tends to show an inability to really be in the moment, focus and be fully conscious/present in the experience.  We have all become very good at doing a lot of things at the same time, yet is it making our lives better?  Are we using it to our advantage or are we using it as an avoidance strategy to distance ourselves from our feelings/experiences?

While behavioral flexibility and the ability to adapt to rapid change is great, becoming disassociated / disconnected is not as it removes us from being fully conscious and experiencing life.  Too much multi-tasking tends to shift our consciousness over to autopilot.  Autopilot tunes out our emotional connection to what we are doing and puts us in that gray area where we are unable to feel passionate or excited and instead just feel 'blah'.  The more multi-tasking we do, the less time we have to connect to what we are doing, the less we aware we become.  Knowing emotion drives behavior, is it any wonder that as people become more disassociated and removed from their emotions and daily experiences, they become more apathetic, feel overwhelmed, exhausted and defeated.  

After a while, life begins to feel like a never ending list of tasks with not enough hours in the day to get everything done.  Multi-tasking by its very nature means everything is a "work-in-progress" simply because you are doing a little of everything all day long.  In other words there will always be a lot of unfinished/incomplete tasks at the end of the day.  Another consideration is when you multi-task some of the bigger tasks stay on the list for an extended period of time because you are only chipping away at it rather than giving it your full, undivided attention.  Seeing the same task on your to do list for days (or perhaps weeks/months) may give you the feeling like its never going to get done.

How often have you worked steadily all day long, only to find at the end of the day you have not crossed a single item off your list of tasks?  More importantly, how does it make you feel?  

If the continuous work-in-progress list motivates and excites you, by all means continue on multi-tasking to your heart's content; just ensure you are fully present and in the moment when you are with others. However, if multi-tasking feels like its sucking the life out of you and taking all the joy out of life, now would be an ideal time to realign your priorities and focus.  Add some structure so you are working smarter, in a way that gives you the ability to cross off tasks at the end of each day so you feel you are accomplishing what you set your mind to and feel good about getting things done.  

Ultimately, I believe living life in a way that will keep you feeling excited, motivated, inspired and happy is the way to go.  Each of us is unique so we each have to choose our own way to achieve the life we want and the way we want to live it.

As always, the choice is yours.