Thursday, May 26, 2011

Me, Myself & I

I'm curious, how do you think about yourself? Not the you that you project to the world, the you that you keep hidden from those around you; the you others sometimes get glimpses of but don't really know?  While we may believe we do a good job in compartmentalizing our lives and our many roles within our lives, the truth is "who we are" always shines through even though we may think we've hidden certain aspects away.

It's always interesting to hear how much people reveal through their choice of words; how their unconscious pokes through and reveals aspects of the person without the individual being aware of it.   This seems especially true when it come to talking about themselves, their hopes and dreams, and their goals.

There are a lot of different ways in which a person can unconsciously reveal their beliefs, especially about themselves and for the most part what is exposed is either their self-confidence and self-esteem or their lack of self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.

 For example, who hasn't heard a woman say "I'm just a stay at home mom"?  As if choosing to raise your child(ren) yourself rather than putting them in the care of others makes you less worthy, less valuable, less important than those who have jobs outside the home.  I am by no means bashing those women who choose to, or have to work outside the home, for they often struggle with esteem issues around being a good mom because they work and are not spending more time with their child(ren).  It really can be a damned if you do and damned if you don't scenario; yet the common pattern for both is one of self-esteem and self-worth and self-judgment.

The phrases change yet they show the underlying pattern.  What does "They won't listen to me, I'm not management" really tell you about the speaker?  They have already decided they are not worth listening to; not because they don't hold a management position, but because they don't believe they are worth being heard.  Somehow, somewhere, they started to believe they are less worthy, their ideas or comments are not as important or valid as someone who holds a higher position within the company; and frankly, that's not true.

Self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth issues are issues most people struggle with in some area of their lives.  They are often developed from an early age: "Bobby, why can't you be more like your brother", "Susy's not as popular as Jane, but she's smart"; while the intention was never to damage a child's self-esteem, in many cases it's meant to encourage or even compliment, children often take it as "you're not as good as..." or "you don't measure up".   So as children we take it to heart and each time we believe we fall short, we unconsciously re-confirm the belief that we are just not good enough.  Then, there will come a point where we just believe it to be true and once that has occurred, a 'limiting belief' has been created which impacts our life every step of the way.  It becomes the gauge by which we make our decisions and if we are holding a limiting belief about our own worth, then it's likely we sabotage ourselves; because limiting beliefs create the pattern within you at the unconscious level that allows you 'to be right'.  So if you apply for a job, yet you really don't believe you're good enough for it, or that you're not worth the high salary, there's a fairly high chance you will somehow blow the interview which of course reinforces the belief that you're not good enough.

The 'self' aspect of us, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth, self-respect are the core of us.  The way we think of ourself is what we project to the world, even when we think we are hiding our fears of 'not being good enough'.  It comes out in our words and in our actions.  Choosing to examine what limiting beliefs you hold about yourself, your work, your life as a whole is the first step; releasing them and creating supportive healthy beliefs is the second.  Once you free yourself from your past, you are free to design your present and your future.

Timeline Therapy is a fabulous quantum modality for releasing the past and creating the future.  It's fast, highly effective, and does not require you to re-live your experiences.  When you're ready to free yourself from your past, look into booking some sessions; Timeline Therapy or a Personal Transformation

Saturday, May 7, 2011

When You Know That You Know

Our intuition nudges us constantly, whispers to us, shows us clues, and even gives us a gut reaction, yet so many people are seemingly unaware of this guidance or they choose to ignore it.

Perhaps part of the reason is they are so focused on their external world that they have tuned out their internal world.  We have so much to distract us in our daily lives that we are seldom alone with our thoughts.  In fact, there are those who go to great lengths to ensure they are never alone with their thoughts.  Instead, they fill every waking moment with distraction: cell phones, the internet, TV, iPods, radio.  There is always something