Peace On Earth

 

A common theme at this time of year is one of Peace On Earth.  With so much unrest in the world it seems like it is an impossible dream to live in a peaceful world and we lose hope that there will be peace in our lifetime.

Yet if our outer world is a reflection of our inner world, then we need to ask ourselves "Where are we at war within ourself and our own life?"

Peace, like change, has to start within us.  If each of us looked within ourselves, would we find peace or chaos or even hatred and war?  Think about it, how do you feel about yourself?  Do you really love who you are?  Are you at peace with your looks, your personality, your job, your health, your mental, emotional and spiritual aspects?  What about your relationships, are they peaceful? Are the lines of communication open, ensuring honesty and compassion are a natural part of all communication within your relationships?  

How can we promote peace, be a channel for peace if within us resides self-loathing; anger, resentment, jealousy, chaos, deceit, hatred, or envy?  If we cannot come to terms with our own relationships, to honour and respect each other on a personal one-to-one basis, to create peace within our own lives, how on earth can we expect nations to create peace globally?  

Simply put, to create Peace on Earth we must first create peace within ourselves.  Only when we know peace within our own life will we be able to then create peace in the world around us.

May there be peace in our world, and let it begin with me...

Everyone Has A Price

In previous posts we've discussed three of the four archetypes common to all humanity: the Child, the Victim, the Saboteur, and today we take a closer look at the final one, the Prostitute in the hope of grasping its influence in our lives.

When people think of the Prostitute, they think of it in the typical terms of the sex trade industry and believe since they are not a sex worker, this archetype has no influence on them.  However, to really grasp the meaning of the Prostitute archetype, you have to expand your concept of what it is and how it relates to you.  With this in mind, let's explore the Shadow and Light aspects of the Prostitute archetype in order to shift our perception of it and gain understanding of how and where its energy is felt in our life.

Do you remember the old saying "Everyone has a price"?; this refers to the Prostitute archetype within us.  The Prostitute archetype represents "what we are willing to sell and for what". Think beyond the obvious of selling one's body for money and consider how, when and in what circumstances we "sell out".  Likely just reading that last line has triggered a feeling within you because we are all tempted regularly and while we don't think of it as prostitution per se, it really is a form of selling parts of ourselves for some kind of gain.

Let me provide some examples, so you can recognize how the Prostitute archetype is at work in your life.  Then when you find yourself in situations where it appears, you will know what it looks, sounds and feels like in the moment.

In one's work life, the Prostitute may manifest as a 'yes man (or yes woman)' agreeing with the boss simply to further one's own career.  In this case the person may be selling out their personal values/beliefs/opinions or their colleagues to ensure their own career advancement.  Another way could be putting all their time and energy into their job and neglecting their family; in effect selling out the family for financial gain.  Still another example is knowing when the company is doing something morally/ethically wrong and choosing to go along with it because that's what you are paid to do.  These are only a couple of ways in which the Prostitute archetype can make itself known in a person's work life; there are many other ways if you want to give it some serious thought.

In your personal life, the Prostitute manifests in numerous ways as well.  People who stay in relationships because of the material aspects, the house, the car, the money, the image, yet are unhappy, lonely, or even living separate lives under the same roof are selling out their happiness and well-being for security.  The same can be said for those who stay with someone simply because they don't want to be alone. In the long run their unhappiness will eventually lead to bitterness, anger, regret and most likely illness.  

Other ways include pretending to be someone you are not in order to be accepted/liked; in essence selling out who you are for acceptance.  In more physical terms, a person may sacrifice their health and well-being for material security or even for approval/love.  This may manifest as going to work when they are ill or even staying in an abusive relationship.  Some will sell out their friendships when they get involved in a relationship because their new lover doesn't want them to spend time with friends.  Any circumstance where you are surrendering some aspect of yourself in order to gain something is really your Prostitute archetype making itself known.

Like the Victim and the Saboteur, it can be difficult to see past all the Shadow aspects of the Prostitute and to find the Light/Positive aspect.  In essence, the Prostitute is our Guardian of Faith.  Its goal is to encourage us to believe in what we know is right and to act upon that knowledge.  By doing so, we strengthen our self-esteem and self-respect by choosing to have faith in ourselves in those moments where selling out would be easy, yet ultimately, would leave us feeling guilty, angry, ashamed, remorseful, etc. 

Examples of the Light aspect of the Prostitute include corporate whistle blowers; those individuals who know what is being done is wrong and take a stand against it.  Another is the ability to create healthy boundaries around your work life, recognizing the importance of life outside the office - family and friends.    The Light aspect within health and well-being, its recognizing when one needs to take care of themself and not cave in to the demands or pressures from work or from family and friends.  The Light Prostitute is about having faith in who you are, knowing there will always be those who love you unconditionally and those whose love and/or approval you will never have and choosing to always be who you are and not apologizing or compromising yourself in order to please others.

We all have weaknesses, we all have moments of doubt where we have to choose between standing up or selling out. Yet when you consciously choose to figure out "What your price is" your awareness of your Prostitute archetype increases and it becomes easier to Stand Up rather than to Sell Out.  

Is it easy to live through the Light aspect of the Prostitute? No. However, it does become easier the more you do and is infinitely worth it.  Living through the Light aspect creates self-esteem and self-respect which in turn builds self-confidence. When you are confident, the judgments and criticisms of others no longer trigger your need to sell out, making it easier to choose to do what is right without fearing what it will cost you.

Interested in finding out more?  Click Here

From The Heart

I often wonder why people have such a difficult time speaking from their heart.  You would think it would be easy to say "I love you" to someone you love; yet so many hesitate, waiting for the other person to say it first or  say "you know how I feel" rather than actually vocalizing how they feel.  Yet we have no trouble letting them know when they disappoint us, hurt us, let us down; and often in no uncertain terms.

Considering all the things we say to people throughout the course of a day, you would think that expressing love would be the nicest thing we could say.  Those three little words convey a depth of emotion, a heart to heart connection,  giving support, faith, encouragement, warmth, security, trust, unconditional love, all wrapped up together.  Everyone loves to hear the words, yet how often do we say them?  Why are we always waiting for the other person to say them first?

What fear holds us back from saying it?  Is it really just the fear of "what if they don't say it back?"  Or is it the fear of being vulnerable and open?  Why do we fear trusting those we love?  After all, if we can't be vulnerable and open with those we love, then who can we be open and vulnerable with?

Perhaps it's the constant monkey mind chatter (that incessant voice in your head) telling you all the reasons why you are unlovable and why you shouldn't let others know you care.  Or perhaps it's society's influence that "you've got to be tough", "never let them see you cry", "don't give them something they can use against you"  somehow turning an admission of love into a weakness rather than a strength.

Yet if you really think about it, love is the ultimate strength.  Knowing you are loved gives you courage, whether it's the courage to try something new, to heal from an illness, to forgive a transgression, to reach out to someone in need; it all comes from being loved and loving others.  There is comfort and security in knowing you are loved; that there are people in your life who know who you are and love you unconditionally simply because you are you.  While you know it in your heart, hearing it from time to time makes your heart sing, lifts your spirits and gives you a sense of joy and belonging.

To be loved is a wonderful thing; to tell others you love them is a gift beyond measure.  Isn't it time to speak from the heart and say those three little words....I Love You.   Do it, do it now...there are people in your life who need to hear it and feel it.  If you truly love them, tell them.

Blessings
Bren

The Victim Within

Since we have four archetypes which are common to all humanity, I thought perhaps in would be wise to provide insight into each of them.  Last month we took a look at the Saboteur, the Guardian of Choice, this month, let's explore the realm of the Victim, the Guardian of Self-Esteem.

Ah the Victim, we've all been there, in Victim mode at least once in our lives and if we are honest with ourselves likely a lot more than once.  Like the Saboteur, it can be difficult to see a Light side to the Victim especially when we are all so very familiar with the Shadow side.  We have all had times where we felt like a victim, whether it was a victim of circumstance or situations where we felt we had been taken advantage of and victimized by others.  The challenge we face is do we fall into our Shadow Victim or do we step forward into our Light Victim?

In it's Shadow aspect, the Victim steps into the energy of "poor me".  Helpless, defenseless, unable to do anything to change what is going on in life.   From this place the Victim has no voice, no boundaries, and no real desire to create change.  It's hard to believe, to really grasp why someone, anyone, would want to remain in a situation that appears to cause them pain, hardship, grief and struggle; yet somewhere, beneath all that negative stuff is a "gain".  A "gain" is the reason they stay stuck in the Shadow aspect; they are meeting some need through their Shadow Victim.  To give you a feel for what a gain is, so you will recognize it when you see it and hear it, I'll give you some examples.

"No one ever helps me,  I have to do everything myself."
The Shadow Victim may be looking for attention in the form of sympathy; or rather than directly asking for help or admitting they need help uses guilt to try to manipulate others into volunteering to help.

"I don't have time for myself or to take care of myself, I have so many responsibilities and have to take care of...."  The Shadow Victim perhaps looking for praise; i.e "You're so good to be taking care of them" or validation/justification for neglecting their own well-being: "No wonder you don't have time for yourself, you are so busy".

Then there are the medical Shadow Victims, the ones with health issues.  I'm talking about those individuals who are constantly talking about how bad their condition is, how nothing helps, how they suffer; and who are likely doing nothing to improve their own well-being.  These are the individuals who won't see a doctor or if they do see a doctor won't follow the doctor's advice.  They have a long list of excuses why they can't do what they should be doing to improve their health, excuses like "I don't have the time/money/energy to do that" and at the same time give you a long list of why you should be more sympathetic, more patient, more helpful, perhaps even visit more often.  Here the Shadow Victim is gaining sympathy, attention, and often uses their health to manipulate and guilt others into doing things for them.

As long as the Shadow Victim still finds a 'gain' there is no reason to change behaviour; they are, getting their needs met.  However, after a while others grow tired and resentful of the Shadow Victim and draw away, creating reasons and excuses in order to avoid being sucked into someone's Shadow Victim pattern.  At this point one of two things happen, either the Shadow Victim 'ups' the drama, illness, demands OR they decide to make changes in their lives to improve their situation rather than moaning about it.

Stepping out of the Shadow and into the Light aspect of the Victim brings an individual the opportunity to build their confidence, self-esteem, create boundaries and to speak their needs in healthy ways.  Here in the Light aspect is where the Victim becomes the Guardian of Self-Esteem.  This may be a little mind-bendy, to really grasp.  Even saying it, "The Victim is the Guardian of Self-Esteem" may sound strange, yet when we delve into it, it will make perfect sense.

In the Light aspect is where we are able to set healthy boundaries, saying 'no' when we don't want to do something. When we are confident in who we are, we are no longer afraid that saying 'no' means others will stop liking or loving us.  The Light aspect of the Victim allows us to step forward into who we really are, into our own empowerment, giving voice to our thoughts and feelings; we are honest with ourselves and others.  We become true to ourselves and in turn allow others to see who we really are rather than just seeing the mask we have been wearing for years.   It brings us to the point where the judgments of others no longer impacts us and that in itself is freeing.

Step out of the Shadow and into the Light of your Victim archetype and set yourself free.

Blessings
Bren

It's The Way You Tell It

No one, absolutely no one, tells a story like my sister.

Anyone who knows her or who has heard her re-telling  a tale of  some event or adventure will tell you they gasped for air as they laughed so hard they cried.  Seriously, sis is that funny and while you know somewhere in the back of your mind that she has exaggerated the story to some degree (though really not all the much) it really is the way she tells it that gets you to the point of tears of laughter.

While being around her pretty much guarantees you some laughs, it also means there are going to be times when you're going to be part of the story or worse, the lead character in the story.  Trust me, I've been there on more than one occasion and she loves to tell a tale that involves you especially when you're there.  While your first instinct might be to protest or correct her, the reality is, it's unlikely it help. I'm speaking from experience, it's better to just let her tell it and enjoy the reactions of those around you. Why am I sharing this with you?  Simply because there's a lesson or two to be learned here.

First, even though we may share an experience with others, we don't experience the experience the same way.  What we experience gets processed through our own internal filters and past experiences; so what we recall is actually a combination of the experience, the emotions it triggered in the moment as well as the memories and emotions it has triggered from the past.  That's why two people can witness an accident and when asked, they tell two very different versions of what happened.  Their internal filters have deleted, distorted and generalized what they saw by running it through their emotions, memories, values and other aspects of their internal processing. Since no two people are alike or have lived and experienced the exact same thing in the exact same way, there is no way they can filter things the same either, so their stories will be very different.

Second, we, as a society, really need to learn to take things (and ourselves) less seriously and to laugh a heck of a lot more.  People are so ready to take offence at every little thing, seeing it as a personal slight, a slur, an attack.  We need to counter this by building self-esteem, knowing who we are, releasing the need to be liked by everyone, and the need to have the approval and/or support of others in order to follow our dreams and passions.  Life becomes so much easier and freer when you are confident enough to know who you are and still be able to laugh at yourself from time to time.

I'm blessed to have a sister that can experience life and find the humour in it, sharing it with others in a way that leaves everyone laughing.  It's not hurtful, it doesn't belittle or demean anyone, it is simply sharing life through own human foibles and being able to laugh at them. Laughter really is the best medicine and even the toughest lessons can be taught through humour, it's all in the way you tell it...and trust me, my sis can tell it like no one else I  know ~ and I am so very thankful for her!

Blessings

Self-Sabotage

It's hard to imagine that people deliberately sabotage themselves, yet most people will admit they do sabotage themselves from time to time.   It seems odd though, when you hear someone say they want "X" and yet they unconsciously (or sometimes even consciously) then do all kinds of things to sabotage and prevent themselves from achieving "X".

Why?

If we were to look at this through the perspective of archetypal patterning, we would first have to acknowledge the Saboteur archetype is one of the four archetypes which is common to all humanity; the other three being "Victim", "Prostitute", and "Child".  Everyone on the planet has all four, so everyone has a Saboteur archetype which means we are all capable of sabotaging ourselves and others.   All archetypes are neutral energies until we engage their patterning, then we have the choice of whether we choose to engage their "Shadow" (negative) or their"Light" (positive) aspect.

One could easily imagine the Saboteur would only have a Shadow aspect.  After all, what Light aspect could possibly come from a Saboteur?  The answer may surprise you.  Your Saboteur archetype is actually your Guardian of Choice.  It is through our Saboteur that we choose to make changes in our lives and choose to empower ourselves and others.....or sabotage ourselves and others.

You see, everything we do we choose to do.  Now, some will say "I have no choice, I have to do..." yet the truth is, they could choose something different.  They rather choose to be dis-empowered and without choice, than to choose to change and become empowered.  Which leads us into the reason we often sabotage ourselves and others:  "We fear empowerment and the change it would bring into our lives".  

For some reason, a lot people naturally assume that by becoming empowered and choosing change in one (or many) areas of their lives means the other areas of their lives will crumble.  It's a little hard to wrap your mind around the connection between how improving one aspect of your life will automatically destroy another aspect.  Why would it?  If you are improving something, the ripple effect through your life would be positive, so rather than destroying what is already good in your life, it would in fact, enhance it.

So how and why do we sabotage those we love?  It's also out of fear - usually the fear of being abandoned.  So while on one hand we want our loved one to succeed, on the other we fear that if they do, they will leave us and we will be left alone.  It's this fear that makes us unconsciously (and sometimes consciously) undermine them; usually in what we perceive as small inconsequential ways.

Comments like:

•  "you can break your diet for one day and have dessert with me."
•  "I know you're trying to quit smoking, but just come outside with me and keep me company" 
•  "take a break from studying and watch this movie with me"
• "skip the gym today, you can go tomorrow and stay longer to make up for it"
• "one drink won't hurt you"

While the above are seemingly harmless, the truth is, they are all ways in which we sabotage others.  There are hundreds of other ways we sabotage those we love, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually in order to maintain the status quo and ensure they stay with us.  What we need to do is recognize what triggers us into doing this and instead of acting on the trigger, choose to be supportive instead. 

In essence, it's about empowering ourselves and being secure enough in who we are to allow others to be who they are, without the fear of being abandoned.  Some days we will succeed brilliantly at this, other days may prove to be more challenging; yet the opportunity is always there to choose the Light aspect of your Saboteur and empower yourself and others along the way.

 Interested in learning about your Archetypes?  Check out:  The Soul's Alchemy

What Memories Are You Creating?

It always amazes me the stories and memories that get shared when someone passes away.  How everyone remembers the person differently and all the stories add different dimensions and depth to the person, often giving us new insight and perspective on someone we thought we knew well, yet didn't know as well as we thought.

 The death of a loved one reminds us how many lives we touch, how others see us, and more importantly, what memories we give others by being part of their lives.  As much as it is a time of mourning the loss of someone we love, it is also a time to share in the joy they had brought to our life though sharing our favorite and usually funniest memories of them.

When you think about your life thus far, what do you want your loved ones to remember about you?  Are you merely passing time or creating memories?  People have a tendency to get so caught up in rushing through life that they seem to forget to live life.  To savour and truly experience the moments they share with others; to create lasting memories.  To appreciate those times where the laughter literally brings tears to the eyes; the joys that mark the happiest of occasions, and even through the tears of sadness the ability to remember and share the moments that have touched them.

It seems a little sad the best stories are shared only after a person has passed.  It makes me wonder if people really know how much they impact the lives of those around them; how much they are loved, appreciated, looked up to and admired. We like to believe those we care about  know how we feel, but really, wouldn't it be so much better for them and for us, to actually tell them, now, while they are still with us rather than waiting until they have left this world?

So, to the women in my life let me say this "you inspire me with your knowledge, courage, caring, compassion and I am blessed by knowing you and sharing so many memories with you".   To the men in my life who tend to be men of few words and big hearts I say "thank you for your strength, wisdom, patience, goodness and for showing me by example what it means to be a 'good man'; all of you are a blessing in my life. "

My life is filled with wonderful people - family, friends who are like family, so many great memories and so much laughter that I can only say I love you all and look forward to many many more years of creating lasting memories.

Create memories ~ they are the gift that keeps on giving.


Blessings.

Where Do I Go From Here?

Einstein once said, "You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created the problem".  In other words, whatever your problem is, you need to think in a completely different way in order to find a solution to it.  Wise words, yet how does one 'think differently' in order to find a solution?

We've all been there at some point in our life.  That place where we look around and think "I'm stuck", "this isn't working", "nothing's changing" and we wonder where do we go from here?  

In our minds we have tried everything, done everything we could think of to shift things, to change what isn't working in our lives, yet our problem persists.  What more could we possibly do?  What haven't we tried?  We feel lost and a sense of hopelessness begins to invade our senses, followed by thoughts of "it's always going to be like this....nothing will ever change".  It's here where we feel trapped, stuck and bewildered that no matter what we try, it doesn't change our situation.

This is what Einstein was referring to.  This is the pattern where we are using the same mind that created the problem to find the solution and of course, that won't work.  Solution is found when we are able to look objectively at our "problem", step out of the emotion of it and see it through different eyes.  If it was someone else's problem, what advice would we offer?  What resources (people, things, places) are needed?  Have we asked for help?  Have we honestly listened to the advice/suggestions of others or have we dismissed their ideas because we don't want to do what they suggest, not because it's not a good idea, but because it's not what we want to do?

When we are stuck, really stuck, all we can see is our problem.  Like the saying 'You can't see the forest for the trees' we become so focused on the problem that everywhere we look it is all we see.  One cannot see the big picture if one's attention is focused solely on a single detail.  We need to be able to break our focus on our problem (the detail) and look at the bigger picture, to become open to other sources of information, assistance, wisdom.  To be able to say "I'll do whatever it takes" and mean it instead of saying "I'll do anything...but not that!"  

Often it is the thing we don't want to do which is the one thing we need to do in order to move from problem into solution.  When we resist what we know is needed, then the result is the problem persists.  

What limiting decisions or limiting beliefs are you holding on to that stop you from seeing and thinking about the problem differently?  Are past experiences and patterns playing a role in this problem?  Perhaps it's time to consider finding someone to help you change your thinking, clean up your past and release those old patterns of behaviour that are sabotaging you rather than serving you.

In order to find solution, you must first think differently; and while some people are able to do this on their own, the majority need someone to help them.  Invest your time, money and energy and find someone who will guide you through the process so you can finally breakthrough the problem, find solution, and transform your life.  

Personal Transformation

Will You Surrender?

I must admit I never watched an episode of Oprah, though I do admire what she has done and created during her TV career; the inspiration she has provided as well as the opportunities she created for others along the way.  That being said, I will say I recently watched a video clip in which Oprah talks about "surrendering" and surrendering is something I had to learn to do over the past few years.

There is a point in the video clip where Oprah says "When you've worked as hard and done as much and striven and tried and given, and plead and bargained and hoped...Surrender.  When you have done all that you can do and there is nothing left for you to do; give it up,  give it up to that thing that is greater than yourself."

Powerful words and yet, to actually be able to Surrender takes courage and leap of faith.  It means letting go

Me, Myself & I

I'm curious, how do you think about yourself? Not the you that you project to the world, the you that you keep hidden from those around you; the you others sometimes get glimpses of but don't really know?  While we may believe we do a good job in compartmentalizing our lives and our many roles within our lives, the truth is "who we are" always shines through even though we may think we've hidden certain aspects away.

It's always interesting to hear how much people reveal through their choice of words; how their unconscious pokes through and reveals aspects of the person without the individual being aware of it.   This seems especially true when it come to talking about themselves, their hopes and dreams, and their goals.

There are a lot of different ways in which a person can unconsciously reveal their beliefs, especially about themselves and for the most part what is exposed is either their self-confidence and self-esteem or their lack of self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.

 For example, who hasn't heard a woman say "I'm just a stay at home mom"?  As if choosing to raise your child(ren) yourself rather than putting them in the care of others makes you less worthy, less valuable, less important than those who have jobs outside the home.  I am by no means bashing those women who choose to, or have to work outside the home, for they often struggle with esteem issues around being a good mom because they work and are not spending more time with their child(ren).  It really can be a damned if you do and damned if you don't scenario; yet the common pattern for both is one of self-esteem and self-worth and self-judgment.

The phrases change yet they show the underlying pattern.  What does "They won't listen to me, I'm not management" really tell you about the speaker?  They have already decided they are not worth listening to; not because they don't hold a management position, but because they don't believe they are worth being heard.  Somehow, somewhere, they started to believe they are less worthy, their ideas or comments are not as important or valid as someone who holds a higher position within the company; and frankly, that's not true.

Self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth issues are issues most people struggle with in some area of their lives.  They are often developed from an early age: "Bobby, why can't you be more like your brother", "Susy's not as popular as Jane, but she's smart"; while the intention was never to damage a child's self-esteem, in many cases it's meant to encourage or even compliment, children often take it as "you're not as good as..." or "you don't measure up".   So as children we take it to heart and each time we believe we fall short, we unconsciously re-confirm the belief that we are just not good enough.  Then, there will come a point where we just believe it to be true and once that has occurred, a 'limiting belief' has been created which impacts our life every step of the way.  It becomes the gauge by which we make our decisions and if we are holding a limiting belief about our own worth, then it's likely we sabotage ourselves; because limiting beliefs create the pattern within you at the unconscious level that allows you 'to be right'.  So if you apply for a job, yet you really don't believe you're good enough for it, or that you're not worth the high salary, there's a fairly high chance you will somehow blow the interview which of course reinforces the belief that you're not good enough.

The 'self' aspect of us, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth, self-respect are the core of us.  The way we think of ourself is what we project to the world, even when we think we are hiding our fears of 'not being good enough'.  It comes out in our words and in our actions.  Choosing to examine what limiting beliefs you hold about yourself, your work, your life as a whole is the first step; releasing them and creating supportive healthy beliefs is the second.  Once you free yourself from your past, you are free to design your present and your future.

Timeline Therapy is a fabulous quantum modality for releasing the past and creating the future.  It's fast, highly effective, and does not require you to re-live your experiences.  When you're ready to free yourself from your past, look into booking some sessions; Timeline Therapy or a Personal Transformation

When You Know That You Know

Our intuition nudges us constantly, whispers to us, shows us clues, and even gives us a gut reaction, yet so many people are seemingly unaware of this guidance or they choose to ignore it.

Perhaps part of the reason is they are so focused on their external world that they have tuned out their internal world.  We have so much to distract us in our daily lives that we are seldom alone with our thoughts.  In fact, there are those who go to great lengths to ensure they are never alone with their thoughts.  Instead, they fill every waking moment with distraction: cell phones, the internet, TV, iPods, radio.  There is always something

Living A Multi-Dimensional Life

I have literally spent decades studying the mind, body, spirit connections as well as esothetic and religious/spiritual subjects.  As you can imagine, I have learned a lot, experienced a lot and now I teach others how to live life multi-dimensionally.  Living life multi-dimensionally means looking at life through all aspects of life, not just our physical reality.  It encompasses a lot of different elements, things like: understanding how words influence actions and physical, emotional and spiritual well-being; learning to see interactions with others through the lens of detachment rather than getting caught up in the drama; seeing opportunity rather than loss; forgiveness as a way to freedom; abundance as way of living rather than an accumulation of 'things'.  Opening minds and hearts to the wisdom spirit holds; the potential to be what each dreams of being and bringing that into reality.  It's pretty heady stuff I must admit; and it takes commitment and work to live life this

A Leap of Faith

Often we have to take a leap of faith to reach our goals and dreams.

The challenge is of course, actually leaping.

So here I am, at the edge, contemplating making the leap of faith. There are a myriad of thoughts and voices in my head, something I believe most people experience when they're about to make the leap.  The doubts, the concerns, the voices of family and friends questioning your choice.  Are they right?  Am I right?  Is it the right thing to do?  Is the timing right?  Have I done all I need to do to make this work?  Am I ready? Lots of questions and the answers vary depending on my mood and confidence level.

This is why it's a leap of faith.  There is really no way of knowing what the outcome will be, only that in order to find out I must DO something NOW; I must take the leap and see where I land.

There is an element of courage, of calculated risk, and of course of faith required in every leap of faith regardless of what the leap is.  Holding the intention that the leap will bring us closer to our goals and dreams,

A Song In My Heart....

Actually, a bunch of songs on my iPod.

After literally years of having only lectures on my iPod, I finally have gotten to the point where I have actually downloaded music from iTunes and have something to listen to that doesn't involve taking notes.  I never realized how much I have missed listening to music until now.

Growing up there was always music in the house.  Mom was a singer, my siblings and I took piano lessons for years, so most of the time, someone was practicing something.  In those rare times when it wasn't one of us creating the music, then there was a radio on which usually prompted the "WHAT are you listening to?!!"

Bucket List

I'm curious, do you have a Bucket List (BL)?  I don't.

There's just something about it that strikes me as a bad idea, energetically speaking.  Perhaps it's just the way I think or the perspective I have on the whole vibrational resonance it carries.  To me (and perhaps only me) it is almost like tempting Fate.

Yes, I know, we're all going to kick the bucket at some point, whether we have a list or not.  Yet, if you consider how most people speak about their bucket list, doesn't it make you wonder, just a little about the energetic vibration such a list carries?

How do most people speak about their Bucket List?  What I usually hear is "it's the stuff I want to do before I die".  There's a couple of things that bother me about that statement.

First, it's "WANT to do"  not " am doing".   So basically, a wish, a dream but not a goal.  In other words,  there's no real commitment to achieving it.  It's like saying "It would be nice if it happened, but I'm not counting on it".

The other aspect is "Before I Die".  Really? Have you really made the threat of Death your motivation to dream about doing things on your Bucket List?  Does it not strike you as a little incongruent to connect Death with the things that are supposed to be thrilling, exciting, happy adventures?  Seriously, how effective has the

Know Your Team

Nope, we're not talking sports teams, we're talking Archetype Team.

The concept of Archetypes has been around since the time of Plato.  Swiss psychologist Carl Jung expanded on them and brought them into the realm of modern consciousness.  While each archetype is a generic version of a personality, they become personalized when they become part of your psyche.

Just for fun, think about the many faces and roles you play throughout the day.  Who are you to your family? To your boss? Who do you see the in the mirror? 

Based on the work of Caroline Myss, the belief is we each have a number of archetypes within our psyche which help to shape who we are in this lifetime.  When we become conscious of the roles and patterns they create within our lives, we are then able to gain a better understanding of ourselves and our place and work in the world.

What if, just for fun, you look at four key Archetypes, the four which everyone on the planet has, just to see how and where they appear in your daily life and what form they take.  Would you be curious enough and honest enough to really explore these aspects of yourself through the symbolism and patterns in your life?  Would you be willing to put yourself under the microscope if what you discovered would give you new insight into who you are and your highest potential in this lifetime? Would you really like to understand why some things seem to recur in your life and what you could do to change that?  To hold within you the feeling of knowing yourself at a deeper level and using that knowledge to live a more fulfilling life?  Then read on and actively experience with new awareness, these key archetypes in your life.

Keep in mind that archetypes are merely the psychological patterns we hold within our unconscious mind; they do not control us, we consciously or unconsciously access these patterns based on the circumstances we are experiencing.  They are neutral in nature, it is how we choose to access the behavioural patterns they represent that determines if we are choosing their Light aspect or their Shadow aspect.  Our choice is reflected in the interactions, relationships and choices we make throughout our lives.

Consider the key 4 archetypes that we all have:

1. The Saboteur
2. The Victim
3. The Prostitute
4. The Child

Just reading their names is likely to resonate with you.  You know them for they are all aspects of you along with as eight other archetypes (based on the work of Caroline Myss, it is believed we each have a total of 12 archetypes which make up our core team).  Of the twelve archetypes, these four are likely the ones we are most conscious of, simply because we all have them.

The Saboteur 

When we are behaving from the Shadow aspect of The Saboteur, our intention is to sabotage, either consciously or unconsciously, ourselves and/or others.  Whether we are sabotaging our relationships, our health, our career or any other part of our life we need to look no further than the Shadow Saboteur archetype.  Who hasn't had a moment in their life when they said "I KNEW I shouldn't have done/said.....but I did anyway and everything fell apart."  We knew we shouldn't do it, yet we did, knowing full well the outcome would not be what we wanted.

Behaving from the Light aspect of The Saboteur, we learn when we are in situations where we run the risk of sabotaging ourselves or others.   From this aspect we gain understanding and insight into our actions, giving us  the opportunity to look more closely at our true intentions and what triggers us to sabotage ourselves or others.  Being able to see the pattern and be conscious of it then gives us the opportunity to change it.  It is our Guardian of Choice.

The Victim
How well we know this one!  Whether we are 'playing the victim' to gain sympathy, attention or some other emotional or material gain, the Shadow Victim is front and center.  It is so easy to slip into the Shadow aspect of the Victim and some people practically live in it, bemoaning how much worse things are in their life, how much harder things are for them, etc.  From the Shadow, The Victim is powerless and has no choice; they cannot do anything to change their circumstances.

The Light aspect of The Victim is where we learn to stand our ground and not allow others to victimize us.  It is also where we learn how we have been victimizing others and choosing to stop doing so. We recognize choice is always available to us and we have within us the power to take action and control in our own lives rather than passively allowing others to tell us how to live.  It is our Guardian of Self-Esteem.

The Prostitute
Likely the most misunderstood of the four, The Prostitute shows us 'what we are willing to sell and for what'.  The Shadow Prostitute "sells out" for what matters most to the individual.  Becoming a yes-man to get ahead in the company, is selling out your integrity for a promotion.  Staying in a broken relationship because of the material benefits, is selling out your happiness for material comfort.  The saying: "Everyone has their price" refers to the Shadow Prostitute within us.

The Light Prostitute helps us recognize when we are at risk of selling out, in essence, it reveals to us what our price really is by uncovering the situations/events in our life which make us feel like we are willing to sell our soul for and teaching us we do not have to sell out.  It is our Guardian of Faith.

The Child -
There are many forms of the Child archetype, however everyone only has one child archetype.

Those with an Eternal Child archetype are people who remain young no matter how old they are.
The Shadow aspect manifests as the inability to accept responsibility and grow up.

Those with a Nature Child archetype are people who have always had an affinity to animals and nature as a whole.
The Shadow aspect manifests as a tendency to abuse nature and the environment.

Those with an Orphan Child archetype are people who feel they never fit in or never belonged.
The Light aspect allows the Orphan Child to develop independence from a very young age.
The Shadow aspect creates the need to find a way to fit in rather than moving on.

Those with a Magical Child archetype are people who hold the belief that anything is possible; miracles happen.
The Shadow aspect manifests as pessimism and the belief that energy and action are not required in life.

Those with a Divine Child archetype are people with a special union with the Divine.  Their faith is their anchor in life.
The Shadow aspect manifests as an inability to deal with negative forces/events in life.

Those with a Wounded Child archetype are people who were abused or traumatized as children and are able to overcome their early life experiences and use those experiences to help others.
The Shadow aspect manifests as self-pity, blame and resistance to moving into forgiveness making their experience their reason for their inability to live life.

Your child archetype is your Guardian of Innocence.

The beauty of archetypes is that they are neutral, giving us the choice of how we are going to respond to any given situation or event, allowing us to create change when we recognize the need to change, the flexibility of moving from the Shadow to the Light, and the deeper understanding of the symbolism and patterns in our lives.  As we gain awareness of archetypal patterns and energies we gain new knowledge of ourselves, our interactions with others, our weaknesses, our strengths, and our greatest potential.

Know thy self is the first step towards understanding others.

Blessings.

What?...Oh Yeah, That's Right...

A strange thing happened the other day, I was introduced to someone by a colleague, and the introduction went something like this:  "This is Bren, she's a Transformational Guide who helps people make changes in their lives... and she's a published author."

It caught me by surprise.  A published author?...wait, that's right, I have been published; more than once in fact.  However, it was strange to be referred to as a published author because I don't necessarily think of myself that way.

This event caused me to take a look back, actually a long look back to just over a decade ago, when I first started working with a coach.  I was still in a corporate career back then and the company had decided bringing in coaches to work with various departments and individuals would help improve the overall workings of the company.  So I ended up working with two different coaches.  One worked with our department as a team, the other, I worked with one-on-one.   I won't discuss how the team coaching went, but I will share my personal coaching experience.

One of the first things I needed to figure out about my coach was if our coaching sessions were really private. I wanted to ensure that what we worked on and discussed wasn't going to go back to my Director or my Vice President.  So I will admit I tested him out and the work we did together stayed very corporate and did not venture into the personal realm at all.  Then once I was certain our conversations and work were indeed private, things quickly changed.

I startled him one day by announcing that I had a couple of goals I wanted to work on with him that had little to do with my corporate job.  The first was to get published; the second was to get out of the corporate job I was in and have my own business within five years.  Needless to say, he was a little surprised, but to his credit and ability, he agreed to help me attain both and assured me no one would know of my plans to leave.

It was at this point in my life, this goal, that started me down the path to being a published author. I have always enjoyed writing, however I wasn't sure people would enjoy reading what I wrote, so I never submitted my writing to magazines or publishers or even blog posts.  The most I ever wrote was a monthly newsletter for a professional organization.  To be honest, I'm still not all that sure people enjoy what I write, the only difference now is, I write it and post it and then hope it resonates with those who choose to read it.

An amazing thing happened as I worked with my coach on my goal to being published.   I was attending a meeting one night and met the editor of a woman's business magazine.  We chatted for a bit and then we were joined by another colleague who told the editor that I was a writer; I was stunned, did my colleague actually say that to an editor?  What was she thinking?  The editor turned to me and asked one question "Are you any good?"

How exactly was I supposed to answer that?  My response was "I think I am".

The editor looked at me and replied, "Well then, write an article, send it to me and if it's any good, I'll publish it."

In my next coaching session I relayed the experience to my coach who was thrilled for me.  I on the other hand was a little nauseous, kind of queasy and yes, a little scared.  Back then I didn't realize you should feel this way when you are close to accomplishing a big goal; and all your goals should be big.   A goal is supposed to be achievable yet also a stretch, something big, challenging, exciting, so it thrills you when you accomplish it.

My coach pushed me to write the article.  He became that voice in my head; yes, I will say that 'nagging voice in my head' that reminded me I already had an editor waiting to read my work; I didn't need to knock on doors and ask to be considered, I had someone waiting, all I had to do was write.  So with great trepidation I contacted the editor and asked how long of an article and if there was a particular topic she wanted me to cover.  She gave me an overview of the type of article and indicated it needed to be approximately 1,200 words; it was going to be a two page article.

I couldn't believe she wanted a two page article from me.  Now I will admit I panicked. I had said I wanted to be published and yet in my mind I had thought of this goal as a long term goal; something that would take me, oh a year or two to accomplish, yet it had only been a month since I originally announced the goal to my coach and already I had an editor waiting to read my work.  Granted it didn't guarantee it would be published, but the speed at which this goal was manifesting was astounding.  I sat down and wrote the article. Then I re-wrote it.   Then I left it for a few days and re-read it; then edited it.  It was finished, but I hesitated over sending it in.  It sat as an attachment in a draft email on my computer for days.

My coach worked with several staff members in my company so I would see him not just during our meetings but also in the halls of my office. Each time he would say "Have you sent it?"  and I would shake my head no.  Finally he showed up at my desk one day and said "Send it now, while I'm here."  There really wasn't a reason not to send it, other than I was afraid the editor would hate it. So with my coach standing beside me, I sent it and waited.

It seemed like forever before I got a reply.  In reality it was probably about a week, but anyone who has ever waited for an answer knows how you can torture yourself with self-talk.  "She hates it", "I should have rewritten it", "I should have taken a different perspective", all kinds of thoughts filled my head.  My coach's response was simple and straight-forward "wait for an answer".

Finally, I got a response.  She liked the article, in fact she was going to publish the entire article in an upcoming edition without additional editing; it would be printed.  My coach was impressed and pointed out that it's not often that the first piece of work a writer writes actually gets published let alone published without revisions or editing.   Part of me was overjoyed with what I had accomplished, the other part of me couldn't believe I achieved this goal in only four months.  It didn't take the two years I expected; it came together as if by magic.  Once I had committed myself to the goal, the pieces came together, things aligned because I was aligned and clear on what it was I wanted.  It seemed simple, almost too simple and I really couldn't believe it until I actually had the magazine in hand and saw the two page article with my name on it.

Since then I have co-authored the book, Dying To Live Well, with Renate Weiler, Kim Redman, and Deborah Johnson.  I write a monthly newsletter along with this blog, and I have written a deck of inspirational cards which I plan on having published. So, yes, I am published author.

As for the other goal, the one about being out of a corporate job within five years, that happened as well.  I was conveniently downsized, given a severance package, and I stepped out the corporate door and into the life I live now as a Transformational Guide.

Some times it takes hearing it from someone else to remind us of our accomplishments. The goals we set in the past and accomplish, then pave the way for how we choose to live our life and the goals we set in future.  My journey out of a corporate job and into a profession I love started with having a coach, creating a plan and setting goals.  Along the way I have become an author, a Master Practitioner, a Transformational Guide, and a coach.  I live my passion and assist and guide my clients so they are able to live their passion as well.

The Journey

I love my work; I love what I do.

There is a certain yet indescribable joy in witnessing a client's journey through the process of transformation; a journey they willingly embarked on, a journey they are committed to take and to see through to their destination ~ their goal.

Clients come to me for a variety of reasons, family, relationships, career, personal development, etc.  Regardless of the reason, they all seek the same thing: "Change".  They want to change something somewhere in their life in order to make their life better; to get them 'on track'; to get them aligned and congruent with how they want to live their life. In other words, they want to live a fuller, happier life than they are currently living and they are looking for someone to assist them in making their goal a reality and they ready to do whatever it takes to achieve it.

My job is to guide them on their journey.  Their commitment to taking the journey means they will be doing the work.  Each client is responsible for creating the changes in their life they seek; my responsibility is to guide them through the process, to give them the tools, information, strategies and support they need to succeed.  I commit to assisting them when they commit fully to the work and the goal.  I firmly believe each and every one of my clients can achieve whatever they set out to accomplish when they are willing to do whatever it takes to get them there.

As we journey the path of transformation together, I get to witness first hand how they progress.  I see the change in their facial expressions and body language, the changes in the tone of their voice and their words, I share in the excitement of how the change they seek is beginning to manifest in their lives and I get to be part of their celebration as they achieve their goal.  I am a witness to their potential and to their success; and without a doubt it is both an honour and a joy for me to be part of their success.

The funny thing is, they often joyfully say "You changed my life!"  Yet, the truth is, they changed their own life; I merely journeyed and guided them along the way; they chose to make the journey and by doing so, they empowered themselves and achieved their goals.

Guiding individuals through change and transformation and into empowerment.  That's what I do... and I love it!

Blessings

What's Your Priority?

It's amazing how many people have a long list of priorities, yet they are not on their own list.

While it's admirable to put the needs of others first, the reality is, in order to be able to continue to meet the needs of others, one needs to have their own needs met first.  In other words, a person cannot continually care for others without caring for themselves, yet so many people continue to try to do just that and the end result is usually exhaustion, resentment, and often illness.

Ask yourself this question "Am I at the top of my priority list?" and if the answer is "no" then ask "Am I even ON my priority list?" and if the answer is still "no" then it may be time to reconsider your priorities.

For some reason society seems to equate taking time for ourselves with being selfish. When did taking time for our own well-being become an act of selfishness?  When did getting enough exercise and rest, eating well and taking care of our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical states, enjoying time with family and friends become selfish?  Why have we put the well-being and care of everyone else (our husbands/wives, parents/children, friends/colleagues, career) above our own?  Why are their needs/demands more important to us than our own well-being and are we really prepared to pay the price that is attached to this belief?

We have become a society that is always rushed, stressed, exhausted and frankly over-medicated.  Ulcers, sleepless nights, acid reflux, aches, pains, migraines, and no time to do what's necessary for our well-being, but just enough time to take a pill to treat the symptom but not the cause because it would be selfish to say: I need to go to the gym or to yoga, or I need a break so I'm going out for coffee with friends or to a movie, or for a walk, or any other thing that would give you time for yourself to regroup and gain a sense of well-being and rejuvenation. 

Your own well-being should be a priority for you.  When you feel well, you are able to do more: for yourself, for your family, for others you have made commitments to.  Taking time for yourself, in whatever form gives you that sense of well-being, rejuvenation and relaxation is a necessity to living life fully.  Put yourself on the top of your priority list and you will be amazed by how taking care of you will make it easier to continue to meet and take care of all the other priorities. Think about it, even the airlines tell us "Put your oxygen mask on first, then assist others".  They know you have to take care of you first in order to be of help to others.

As the saying goes "You don't know how important good health is until you don't have it".  

It's a whole lot easier to maintain good health than it is to regain good health.  

It's a new year, a new beginning and a good time to review and update your priorities.  Make sure you are at the top of your own list.

Blessings,