Will You Surrender?

I must admit I never watched an episode of Oprah, though I do admire what she has done and created during her TV career; the inspiration she has provided as well as the opportunities she created for others along the way.  That being said, I will say I recently watched a video clip in which Oprah talks about "surrendering" and surrendering is something I had to learn to do over the past few years.

There is a point in the video clip where Oprah says "When you've worked as hard and done as much and striven and tried and given, and plead and bargained and hoped...Surrender.  When you have done all that you can do and there is nothing left for you to do; give it up,  give it up to that thing that is greater than yourself."

Powerful words and yet, to actually be able to Surrender takes courage and leap of faith.  It means letting go

of the outcome; trusting things will work out, that there is a bigger picture that perhaps you are not yet seeing. The outcome you are struggling to achieve isn't quite what it should be or isn't all it should be; there is something else for you and in order for that something to arrive you first have to surrender and become open to other possibilities.   Therein lies the difference between giving up and surrendering and yes there is a difference.  Giving up means you have lost faith in yourself, in your decision, in whatever it is you were striving for; you are walking away defeated.  Surrendering means you are open to other possibilities, you allow yourself to be guided not by fear, but by faith and by doing so, your perspective shifts and you suddenly see those other possibilities appearing in your life.

While we would like to believe we are wise enough to know when to surrender and be able to do so when needed, it's not always the case. When things seem to be falling perfectly into place and then..stall or worse, stop completely, it can be hard to surrender.  In those moments we are left wondering "What happened?"  "What did I miss?"  "Everything was working out beautifully, why did it collapse?"  "Why was the opportunity shown to me and then taken from me?"  "Am I being punished?"  "What did I do to deserve this?"  "How can this be happening to me?"  Doubt and fear creep into our hearts and minds, filling us with dread, leaving us feeling like we have failed, that we have somehow misread the signs, that we have been foolish, chosen poorly, that we have childishly followed our dream and it has turned into our nightmare.  It is exactly in these moments that we need to Surrender; we need to choose to surrender; yet it is in these moments that surrender is hardest and often seemingly impossible.  Instead of surrendering we try harder, we push, we plead, we bargain, we rage, we cry until there is nothing left to do but surrender.

Have I been there - yes.   Is it frustrating, heart-breaking, mind-numbing, scary?  Without a doubt it is all that and more.  Yet when all is said and done, there comes a point where you can either choose to surrender and be still or you can continue to try to force things forward and continue to hit a wall of resistance.

In my life I have made choices I believed (at the time) to be 'right' for me yet they ultimately brought me such heart-ache that I wondered 'why'. Why, when everything about the choice seemed to call to me, that felt so right, and the opportunity seemed to be everything I had hoped for, did it all come crashing down.  In those moments I felt as though I was being punished and wondered what had I done to deserve this.  I was so caught up in the heart-ache that I couldn't see anything past it and while I hoped there was a purpose, a bigger picture, I really couldn't see it until I could finally surrender it all and find my faith ~ faith in myself, faith in something bigger than me (God/The Universe/The Divine), faith that things will somehow come together in a way I never dreamed of and that will ultimately be better for me.

The funny thing about surrendering is once you have done it, truly done it, there is peace.  The fear is gone and with it the need to know why things happened the way they did.  In the peace and stillness you find the chance to become detached from your struggle and instead, become open to what is trying to enter your life.  You become more aware, more centered, more grounded; you may find out in order to get you to where you ultimately are meant to be you first had to surrender.  Through this peace you find a new perspective; realizing the thing you were clinging to, fighting desperately to maintain, was simply a stepping stone, it wasn't meant to be permanent.  If you just surrender and open yourself up to the opportunities which are patiently waiting in the wings for you, you would find your life would flow in a way you would never have dreamed possible.

So, if you find yourself struggling, perhaps now is the best time to surrender and allow yourself to be guided instead.