Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Say What?

In working with clients I often find myself explaining the importance and power of words; the words we choose to say to others and the words we say to ourselves (our self-talk).  While we know the words we choose to say to others has the ability to lift them up or tear them down,  most people don't realize their self-talk has the same power.

Self-talk.  We all do it; whether consciously or unconsciously.  It's the running commentary in our heads which occasionally also passes over our lips so we physically hear ourselves.  Comments like "I'm so stupid", "I have no willpower", "I can't do this", "I'm not smart/thin/young enough" (or anything else you believe you're "not").  You get the idea.  Often the things we say to ourselves are far from supportive, positive or nice. We are critical, judgmental and, well, downright mean to ourselves. Beating ourselves up lowers our self-esteem and saps our ability to believe in ourselves.

This kind of negative self-talk undermines you and your goals.  You see, your unconscious mind takes in all you say to yourself and about yourself; and it happens in the blink of an eye.  Now, you may say, "yeah, I said I was stupid...but I didn't mean it." However, your unconscious mind doesn't judge or filter what it hears and holds on to; it simply takes it all in.

Consider this, you start your day feeling happy and physically well.  Now, you happen to run into a friend or colleague and after a brief greeting this person says to you "You look tired, are you feeling OK?"  In a flash your unconscious mind clicks onto the statement and you suddenly start to feel tired and you wonder if you might be coming down with something.  It happens so quickly you don't even realize it. Now, if someone else can have this kind of an impact on you, just imagine the impact your own thoughts and words have on your mental, emotional and physical well-being.

It's within our self-talk that we create a lot of our self-limiting beliefs which in turn sabotage our goals.  Self-limiting beliefs stop us from trying new things and make our world smaller and less fulfilling.   In some ways, it is our unconscious way of "staying safe" by limiting us to what we know and believe, even if it makes us miserable because the limitations are familiar and therefore safer than the unknown.

When your negative self-talk robs you from: achieving goals, taking a chance on an opportunity, growing personally or professionally, developing new relationships, trying new things or going to new places, then the reality is you are robbing yourself of living life fully.

There is so much life has to offer and there is so much you have to offer life; it's time to ditch the negative self-talk and empower yourself.

As with everything in life ~ the choice is yours.

~ Bren

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